Fig Leaf Schmig Leaf

By LESLIE DINABERG — July 24, 2009

Summertime means bare feet and bare arms, but does it mean bare buns?

A recent New York Times article by Julie Scelfo about parents’ clashing sensibilities concerning nudity among young children (cleverly titled “When Do They Need a Fig Leaf?”) got me thinking about how much times have changed.

When I was a kid in the 60s and 70s, there seemed to be naked children everywhere and nobody gave it a second thought. I remember when I was about five, my Grandma Etta crocheted me an orange and pink bikini, and I couldn’t wait to wear it in the ocean at East Beach. Of course, being made of stretchy yarn, the suit was down to my ankles by the time I caught my first wave. I kicked it off and stayed in the water the rest of the afternoon. I doubt my mom even noticed, given how prevalent naked kids were on the beach in those days.

Today it would be a different story.  For example, a friend of ours recently returned from river rafting with a bunch of other families, and among the notable memories of the trip were the four and five-year-old girls who spent most of their vacation naked. 

The fact that this was commented on at all tells us how far we’ve come. As Scelfo wrote, "For many parents, allowing a child to run around naked at home is perfectly natural, an expression of physical freedom that represents the essence of childhood, especially in the summer. But for others, unclad bodies are an affront to civility, a source of discomfort and a potentially dangerous attraction for pedophiles. These clashing sensibilities can create conflict, even when the nudity in question takes place at home.”

My son never particularly liked running around naked, so this wasn’t an issue at our house. But I’ve heard other mothers express concern, especially about their daughters’ eagerness to drop their drawers at the drop of a hat. There’s such a fine line between wanting to be protective against perverts and wanting kids to feel comfortable with their bodies. I do believe that parents who are overly paranoid about nudity are setting their children up to feel ashamed of their own bodies. Then there’s also the social factor. As a matter of common courtesy, you don’t want to make other adults—or even other children—feel uncomfortable if your kid’s running around in the buff.

So where do you draw the line in the summer sand? 

Is it at a certain age? (Three? Four? When they start elementary school? When they start puberty? My husband says 27, but I’m pretty sure that’s wrong.) Every family is different and that’s okay. Ultimately, I think it’s okay to teach kids that they need to take situational peculiarities into consideration when it comes to their state of dress, or undress.

Sometimes different situations call for different outfits—and that includes birthday suits.

=

Which side of the fig leaf do you stand? Email Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com.

Comment on this article

Subject:

Body:

Poster:

Enter text seen above:

Bare buns : 7/25/2009

This just cracked me up. I am definitely on the pro side of the fig leaf for kids under five. After that it gets a bit dicey. ... but if it makes anyone uncomfortable, that's where I draw the line. Thanks for another funny one, Leslie. I always enjoy your writing.

Gretchen

---

ChezPaul : 7/27/2009

Thanks, Leslie. Since you mention the rafting trip and my comment about the kids, let me just point out that the naked kids were actually more disturbing to my kids - not to us in particular. Being that naked kids are a part of parenting, we're pretty desensitized, but our kids seemed to notice it more - not too many naked kindergarteners running around Kellogg School. Maybe it's just a boy-girl thing. Our boys will get naked at the drop of a hat and run around the back yard shooting water at each other - doesn't seem to be a problem on that front. Thanks for the article! See you soon. -P

---