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REAL Horrors of Adoption : 7/23/2009

The real horror of adoption is neither this silly film nor people who paid expecting a child, losng their money. Far from it. The real horror of adoption is that it is a multi-billion dollar, very loosing and under-regulated industry in which anyone with no education or training in child welfare or social work can hang out a shingle and arrange adoption, placing children with whomever can pay their fee, with no regard for the best interest of the child whatsoever - only their bottom line. The real horror is that as a result of these lax entrepreneurial adoption practices, children are placed with pedophiles - most recently a social worker from Duke University named Frank M. Lombard, and most notably children placed with Matthew Mancusco and William Peckenpaugh (all of whom can be googled for details). The real horrors in adoption are 14 children adopted by Americans from Russia that were MURDERED by their adopter and far more who were abandoned, sent back and abused in unthinkable ways. The real horros of adoption is that our government USES the more than 100 thousand children in foste rcare to increase tax incentives every year while allowing the majority of those funds to be used not to adopt kids from foste rcare, but for international adoption and private domestic infant adption. The real horror is that parents worldwide are exploited, children are stolen and kidnapped and trafficked for adoption to fill a demand and because it is big busiess and the children in most need, both here and abroad are left behind. And finally, the horror of adoption is that once adopted into the US, adoptees are issued a falsified birth certificates that not only change their name and permanently severe their ability to locate kin, but often changes the date or place of birth, and even their race. It is a real horror that adopted persons are denied equality in regard sot their own birth certificates - a right taken for granted by all other non adopted citizens. These are of far more concern - or should be - than people losing money they paid expecting a child in return, as human beings are not for sale! Mirah Riben http://www.AdvocatePublications.com

Mirah Riben

Hate reading Mirah Riben's repeated lies everywhere : 7/23/2009

Maybe the USA is VERY different than Canada but just anyone with no education CANNOT open adoption agency here. In fact it's a lengthy and intense process to be approved to open an adoption agency here in Canada.

Tired of the BS

Another Adoption Nightmare : 7/23/2009

Thanks so much for spotlighting the greedy exploitation of just one of many operating adoption brokers. Unfortunately, many more flourish in the shadowy world of secrecy and big money. I would like to mention another nightmare visited on the adoption community: blocked access to authentic documentation of birth by yesteryears' adoptees in all but eight states - their own unaltered birth certificates. Incredulously, those U.S. citizens who were born into one family and adopted into another had rights stripped from them at birth that are unrecoverable, even at age of majority. Among the rights stripped from them: The right to authentic proof of U.S. citizenship for passport purposes (amended certificates aren't accepted). Protection from incest with a blood relative. Adequate, timely, and appropriate health care for lack of up-to-date family medical information. Genealogical history - connection to the ebb and flow of generations, the same need felt by millions of non-adopted citizens who freely explore their ancestry through traditional genealogical sources. Lives have been lost (I have proof) because of this atrocity. Health of children and grandchildren of disenfranchised adoptees have been jeopardized by lack of medical background. The only people who have truly benefited from the shroud of secrecy imposed on adoptees are the adoption brokers, among them Orson Moses, who have micro-managed all information (some true, some blatantly false) concerning birth and adoptive families in their sealed files. I hope you are as enraged by this as I am. And I'm a birth mother whose child was born a U.S. citizen first, an adoptee second. When I signed away my rights to her, "any and all rights to, in, and concerning said child forever," I was not told I would be signing away HER rights in the process. Enough already! Please join us in the fight to restore what was considered a "sacred right" in the 1940s, but was stripped from them in the era of the infamous Tennessee Children's Home scandal - access to copies of THEIR OWN AUTHENTIC birth certificates!

Michigan Mom

What a digusting individual he is : 7/23/2009

I would say that 85% of adoption professionals are awesome,,,,,,,,but man that other 15% can do major damage to the families who are trying to build their family's through adoption. Mozes held these families and their money hostage and he had all the power and left them all helpless,,,,,,,,,how is it we have to allow this to go on????? www.adoptionscams.net

Lynne Banks

Truth, Justice, and the American Way : 7/23/2009

When will truth and justice catch up with "the American Way" in adoption? The adoption industry draws enterpreneurs who desire to make a quick buck from "the spirit of adoption" like a light draws moths on a summer night. Some of these entrepreneurs are naive and some are unethical; most are qualified to be doing what they are doing. Internaitonal adoption is a complicated transaction spanning countries, cultures, legal systems, and the great divide in weallth and power between first parents and adoptive parents. International adoption is big business, potentially allowing people in this country to draw salaries they couldn't otherwise hope to make and allowing people in sending countries to literally make a fortune and become rich. It shouldn't be left to self-selected enterpreneurs and sending country operatives who see their chance to make a fast buck by producing adoptable children any way they can. Adoption is not an absolute good. It is a relative good or evil, depending on how it is done. Adoptive parents aren't the only ones being hurt by the lack of regulation and enforcement of basic business ethics and human rights principles in adoption. First families are literally being ripped apart in order to provide adoptable children to Americans and others in the first world. No one is watching. No one cares. Many of us are trying to change that. We are trying to give voice to the voiceless victims of international adoption. We are trying to mature our society's view of adoption from the unexamined and sappy idea of adoption as an absolute good one that we've been fed by our culture and had reinforced by the media, to one that recognizes adoption is a relative good or evil (yes, evil). Adoption is just as good or evil as the quality of its regulation and policing. Please follow the link to read the story of how adoption "the American Way" has decimated the lives of many developing world families. This site tells the story of three mothers whose daughters were stolen from them for international adoption. These three women are the voice for hundreds and even thousands of voiceless first mothers around the world--mothers whose children were stolen for international adoption. http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/34464 Until we Americans can get it together to demand better adoption practice and adoption ethics, I would ask you to please refrain from soppy appeals to the "spirit of adoption." The "spirit of adoption" myth is what allows these horrific crimes against humanity not only to continue, but to be celebrated.

Desiree

Orson Mozes : 7/23/2009

Mirah, I appreciate your advocacy for first mothers. Your voice is important and I respect you for being such a strong advocate. But the tangential reference about pedophiles in your message doesn't apply to the Orson Mozes adoptive parents. There is no evidence whatsoever any of them are unfit parents or had bad motives. Broad brush strokes for something as intricate as the need for adoption reform and proper regulation is not quite appropriate. This includes evaluating home study methodology so there is never another Manusco or Peckenbaugh slipping through the cracks.

brass

What it really means : 7/23/2009

I agree that there are WAY too many people trying to make a buck on adoptions in this country and abroad. However, the vast majority of adoptions are on the up and up. I have a daughter who was born in Guatemala. She has her original name, birthcerificate and passport. We are in contact with her birthmother--who gave her child up for adoption because she had lost 4 children to poverty and did not want to see that happen again, among other reasons that are only her business and not mine to share. My husband and I went through psychological evaluations, social worker evaluations, criminal background checks, were fingerprinted and also went through numerous medical test. Just think if all biological parents were subjected to the same rigorous evaluations before giving birth.....While there are problems in homes with adopted children, there are also problems in homes with biological children. It is very unfortunate, but biological parents also kill, abuse and abandon their children. I don't think it is right to group a few REALLY bad adoption experiences together and tag them all under that category when the same things happen in every kind of family that there is. And yes...there are some adoption agencies out there that definately do not need to be in business, it is our responsiblity to do the research and avoid these kind of people at all cost. And my daughter's first family was NOT ripped apart for my benefit. If we had not been blessed with this child, she would have ended up abandoned on the doorsteps of a church (birthmother's words, not mine). So please, think before you speak....it really is harmful to children like mine.

MG

Foster Care Rules Stink : 7/23/2009

I would like to foster a girl, about age five, so that my son, also age five, will grow up with a sibling. I have a two bedroom town home. I was told today by the foster care system that I cannot foster a female child because a female child cannot share a bedroom with a male child, nor share with me (the mother). So, here I am, looking to adopt a child who needs a permanent home/family, and I can't because I can't offer a private bedroom. A loving home, an open heart, a small boy who would love to have a sister, yet we can't. That's messed up. In my imagination I think of that girl who would fit our family so well, and how she'll stay in foster care, because she couldn't have her own private bedroom. Gee, what would be most important to her? A private bedroom or a loving, permanent family?????????????? I can understand the need to protect against child sexual abuse perpetrated by another child, but geeze, wouldn't social workers be qualified to consider things on a case by case basis????

Love to Spare

Adoption : 7/26/2009

Your readers have made some interesting and in some cases erroneous comments about adoption. For example, unless the law has changed since 9/11 (entirely possible), a passport can be obtained using an amended birth certificate. My adopted children all got passports without their original birth certificates. One aspect of present day adoption that troubles me is that so many adoptable older children living in the U.S. are ignored when it comes to adoption. It seems that most would-be adopters want babies or very young children and so they go abroad to find them or pay vast sums of money to obtain an American baby, whereas there are countless older children in foster care, who used to be referred to as "hard to place" who are in need of permanent homes. Anyone who is interested in plumbing the depths of the baby adoption triangle, by the way, might want to watch the movie "The Baby Dance" starring Laura Dern as the birth mother. This gritty depiction of the insoluble conundrum of right and wrong when it comes to adoption reveals a little of the vast grey area in which adoption falls.

shields3033

What YOU can do about it! : 7/26/2009

Cheri -- Thanks for putting this issue in the spotlight. To the readers: There are many kids in need out there, both locally and globally. Instead of blaming and complaining, do something. If you want to help foster kids, support CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) financially or by becoming a volunteer. Most of the kids in the foster care system are considered "Unadoptable" because of their age or because of behavioral problems -- having a CASA gives these kids an advocate as they grow up in less-than-ideal conditions. Not everyone has the heart or the means to adopt, but everyone can do something to help, even small things can make a huge difference. Check out CASA's website at www.sbcasa.org

CASA Volunteer